Pornography has been my lifelong dream, ambition, and passion. And by putting my nose to the grindstone, I’ve been fortunate enough to carve out a nearly two-decade-long career studying and analyzing this fabulous art. But it almost didn’t happen. 

You see, porn was always a fun thing to talk about amongst my University friends. The excitement and buzz surrounding a new porn DVD like Tera Patrick’s Island Fever or Jenna Jameson’s Flashpoint was visceral! And it was exciting to pile into a busted old ‘91 Toyota Corolla and geek out with our friends behind the counter at 21 And Up, our local porn shop and hangout. And I looked forward to discussing epic porn scenes in between lectures.

Just a few years later, everything changed. Nobody wanted to talk about porn anymore. We were all busy. But something else changed: it was suddenly weird to talk about pornos. My friends had grown out of porn. And I felt peer pressure to do the same. 

Thankfully, I knew that porn was special to me. It was about more than a quick nut, porn, or at least some porn was an art form full of beauty, commentary, and, meaning. So, I doubled down with fresh eyes and a more serious point of view. 

Why Do People Fall Out of Porn?

Could it be that people are pressured to stop consuming pornography? Four-time AVN Award-winning porn superstar Blake Blossom doesn’t think so.

“As a 24-year-old woman, I have never consumed any media that is aimed to prevent women from watching. It’s only targeted to men.”

And she’s not alone. Elizabeth Skylar, a rising star in MILF porn, echoed a similar sentiment, “I have never felt pressure to stop watching porn … I think it’s a healthy thing, I think it’s a natural thing”

According to X user @Mikerog0771, it might be related to intent. He suggests that most fans are drawn to porn for one reason: to nut. And once that adolescent thrill has passed, porn might not be as enticing to your average fan. 

As crazy as that sounds, it might be true. The primary purpose of porn is to arouse, and for those that don’t look beyond the surface, porn might start to look hollow once that wave of lust has passed. Eventually, people simply lost interest and moved on. 

That might be the difference between short-term fans and porn professionals like Blake Blossom. Porn is a lot more than a quick nut. In Blossom’s case, it’s a career.

For superfans, it’s about following those careers with the same excitement and enthusiasm as a die-hard sports fan. For others, like myself, it’s about enjoying and understanding the art of pornographic performance and filmmaking. 

Perhaps that’s why Gooning works. Endless edging with a refusal to cum keeps fans engaged and interested in more sexual content. It’s a clever hack that keeps one’s mind in that lusty and horny “goon state.”

Gooners use porn and masturbation to achieve a higher-level tantric state. Again, porn takes on a deeper and vastly more important meaning than a throwaway nut.

Advice for Lifelong Porning

If you’re becoming a serious fan of pornography, then I’m so excited for you! There are so many beautiful and diverse films to explore. And the thought of the next generation of porn content over the next ten, twenty, or thirty years is thrilling. 

Take porn seriously. Adult films are not merely spank-bank material. They are vastly more meaningful and impactful. It’s fine to start from a place of lust and self-gratification, but try taking your porn time a little further. 

Gooning’s a great start. Getting into the goon-state and sitting with your porn for four to eight hours is an eye-opening experience. Sitting in that hyper-aroused meditative state is a great way to look beyond a purely sexualized aspect of porn. It’s through those extended viewing experiences that you might begin to see the artistry and magic inherent in pornographic performance.

Be proud of your porn. When I first started writing about adult, I was essentially curating a collection and building an argument as to why porn was art. I was proud of the porn that I featured.

Today, my tastes have grown to enjoy a multitude of genres, from gonzo to gangbangs, and I’m still proud of my collection and my role as a member of the greater porn community. Porn isn’t a shameful thing, it’s an awesome thing.

Make time for porn. Heed Stephen Covey’s Seventh Habit of Highly Effective People, and “sharpen the saw.” While we all get busy with work, life, and commitments, it’s critical to take time out to do the things you enjoy. That means making time for hobbies and activities that bring us joy. And if porn is one of those hobbies, then we mustn’t neglect it. Always maintain a subscription to a great porn site, and make some time to enjoy beautiful pornography.

With two decades of hindsight, I can confidently say that my lifelong interest in porn has been among the most positive and impactful things in my life. In addition to tens of thousands of hours of peaceful and serene artistic inspiration, porn has inspired a journey of sexual research and education.

Porn has provided a language for sharing and discussing sex in the bedroom, as well as normalizing sexuality in a profound and beautiful way. And porn has led to lifelong friendships and contacts with passionate fans and brilliant industry types alike.