‘’For fuck’s sake, Catherine!’’ My mom said after fighting endlessly to wash the sticky, slimy stains out of my pillow case, ‘’Do you wanna stop drooling in your sleep? This is a nightmare!’’

Yeah, those weren’t drool stains. These days, I have an arsenal of high-tech sex toys and perverted gadgets that I can deploy in and around my body to experience mind-bending orgasms, but things weren’t always like that.

In the early days, I had to use my head when it came to makeshift masturbation aids. And As a sex-obsessed woman with pleasure on the brain 24/7, it’s safe to say I got pretty fuckin’ creative. 

But it was the humble art of pillow humping that saw me undergo clit-draining orgasms that even some of the most advanced sex toys can’t deliver. Sadly, I turned my back on pillow humping over the years as I sank deeper into the world of dedicated sex toys.

Nowadays, though, pillow-humping girls are back with a vengeance. Yep, these Goonettes are rejecting the modernity of modern sex toys and embracing modernity. Oh, and guess what? I’m about to bring you balls-deep into their soaking wet world!

Nicole’s Pillow Humping Porn Breakfast

‘’I can’t even remember the first time I started humping my pillow, but it was a long fuckin’ time ago!’’ Nicole confessed, ‘’These days, I prioritize it over my morning coffee. I barely leave the bed with a pillow humping porn breakfast, that’s for sure.’’

Nicole’s porn breakfast sees her turn the massive TV at the end of her bed and watch porn to start the day. Between her thighs, she caresses her favorite body pillow and slowly grinds away before picking up the pace until the drenched pillow has her edging toward an orgasm.

‘’There’s just something about the contact of a soft, warm pillow between my legs that makes my clit tingle. The way it caresses the insides of my thighs and crotch at once is almost indescribably hot. It’s something that no high-grade sex toy can stand toe to toe with.’’

One of the things Nicole adores the most about a good pillow humping masturbation session is waking up with a full bladder, as she knows it creates the kind of internal that brings an unforgettable orgasm. It’s clear that she’s read my notorious guide on how to squirt!

‘’I always delay my morning pee if I can. It always intensifies the contact between the pillow and my cunt. If the porn on the screen hits just right, as it often does, then I tend to gush forth love juices that are tactically caught and soaked up by the pillow. By the time I’ve gone to work and come home, the slit gush has dried, and I can drift off to sleep breathing in the sweet scent of my own cunt.’’

Edith Leaves Pillow Sex Stains in All Corners of the Globe

‘’Never again. Never fucking again!’’ is what Edith told herself after having her bag searched at airport security and a faulty battery in her favorite vibrator being inspected in front of her colleague, ‘’I’m no prude, but I hold a powerful position in an international company, and I can’t have situations like this.’’

Edith is a divorced 52-year-old German woman who travels often for work. She claims she has no time for relationships with men but describes herself as having a nymphomaniac personality that centers around hardcore porn and a beefy array of sex toys at home to cope with it.

But on those countless lonely trips abroad where she refuses to risk another incident like the one that happened at airport security? She relies on one thing and one thing only: pillow sex in her hotel rooms.

‘’As an 18+ younger woman, I have vague memories of grinding into pillows for hours on end. But after I saw a porn clip of a woman doing it while browsing porn in my hotel room, I decided to copy her. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever rediscovered.’’

After sliding back down the rabbit hole of pillow sex, Edith boasts that she can go on business trips without needing toys. After all, when she streams her favorite porn niche to the TV, which is interracial DP, her hotel room is well equipped with everything she needs.

‘’And as for the fact that total strangers are sleeping on hotel room pillows tainted with my mature German cunt?’’ Edith said with a smirk, ‘’I don’t care. Actually, the mere idea of it makes me cum even harder. Sorry, not sorry!’’

Humping pillows Has Led Me Too, Well, How Do I Explain This?

I can’t believe I’m even telling you this, Catherine,’’ 21-year-old Issy, a UK university student, laughed, ‘’But I need to get it off my chest, and this is the perfect place to do so. Fuck, I’d been masturbating with pillows for ages and had some toe-curling orgasms through pillow sex, but that’s not even the maddest part of what I have to say.’’

Do you know those giant, oversized teddy bears? You know, the ones that are almost human-sized? Well, Issy’s ex-boyfriend won one for her at a local fairground and it took pride of place in the bedroom of her student accommodation. 

When he broke her heart, that giant teddy bear ended up soaked in her tears as she hugged it to overcome the emotion. It wasn’t long, though, until it became soaked with something far more sordid. 

‘’I felt like a weird connection with the bear as it became such a place of solace to get over what my ex had done,’’ Issy confessed. ‘’One night, after coming home horny and sex-starved after a drinking session with my uni friends, things went a bit too far. Turning on my favorite porn and drunkenly hugging the teddy bear, my cunt started grinding into his thick and furry thigh, upping the ante until I came all over it and shook like a leaf.’’

But Issy’s relationship with the dickless teddy bear didn’t end there. After countless porn-fuelled sessions that saw her cumming all over it and collapsing into its lifeless arms while still shaking from orgasm, things started to take an even more perverted turn. I didn’t even know you could cuckold a teddy bear, but Issy proves that it’s possible. 

‘’I’d start bringing guys home on the regular and let them fuck my brains out on the bed, all while laying in the lap of this giant teddy bear and feeling his lifeless eyes look down at my body getting plowed. As I imagined how this dickless object must feel having my slit grinding on him nearly every day while watching how hard it makes men cum, it made me orgasm harder than ever!’’

Now, every time a new man enters her room and clocks the massive teddy bear sitting lifelessly at the end of her bed, and says something like, ‘’I bet that teddy bear has seen some things!’’ Issy simply doesn’t know where to look.

Humping Masturbation Turns Cora Feral in Bed

‘’I honestly don’t fuck men all that often,’’ Cora, a mid-forties Goonette from the South of France, explained. ‘’You see, when I fuck, I want it to be a session I’ll remember, so I always ensure I build up to it in a way that makes that happen.’’

And to do so? Cora embarks on a month of abstinence between each time she gets fucked. Well, not entirely, because she fills the gap with humping masturbation sessions that she claims make her downright feral when she actually does get her hand on some cock.

‘’I love feeling my cunt engulf a red-hot and quivering rod of fuck meat just like any woman,’’ Cora says with a smile and the drag of a cigarette, ‘’but it’s the denial of penetration and the exterior pleasure that pillow humping brings that I adore so fuckin’ much!’’

Cora explains that she can’t actually cum through pillow humping, and she’s far from alone. Plenty of women will tell you the same. Still, what Cora adores is the edging pleasure a pillow sex session brings her, and it makes her crave penetrative so damn much that she’s on the verge of losing her mind.

‘’After thirty days of nothing but oozing love juice into my pillow and trying to hopelessly get penetration from it, I look like a woman possessed. When I finally get a cock in my cunt, I tend to lose all inhibitions and let my aching slit take full control. I don’t give a fuck about the man whom the dick is attached to.’’

Cora recalls meeting a 19-year-old man half her age on Adult Friend Finder, and after sliding his cock into her, she rode him with such intensity that he came in seconds. Cora didn’t care, though, and proceeded to ride him furiously so that her momentum kept his erection firm. Despite some post-orgasm torture, he managed to hold out, and his cock was used like a cheap sex toy by him for what she assessed to be more than three hours. 

Pillow Masturbation is Often the First Foundation of a Woman’s Orgasmic Journey, But It’s Rarely the Last 

Long before a woman takes the step to buy her first dildo, there are a lot of homemade masturbation methods she’ll likely experiment with beforehand, whether it’s with her electric toothbrush, a candle, or getting creative with the spray of water from the shower head.

The divine art of pillow masturbation, though, is often up there with the most sensual and powerful of all. We owe a lot to our humble pillows for laying the sordid foundations of our orgasmic adventures, and it makes my slit tingle to see it making such a slutty comeback amongst modern Goonettes.

Are you a pillow humping girl with some damp bed sheets to show for it? Spill the juices in a comment below and let us know your insight into the world of pillow masturbation and how it’s overhauled how you cum!

And for the rest of you? Well, the next time you rest your head on a hotel pillow or one in a woman’s room, try to imagine what it might have seen before you arrived. Oh, the secrets a woman’s pillow can hold!