One of the most common questions my clients come to me with is this – Sami, how can I reignite the spark in my romantic relationship? How can I unlock the same level of passion, intimacy and excitement that used to exist in our relationship when we first met?

If you feel like the fire in your relationship has dwindled or you long for the days when passion and intimacy were a natural part of your connection, you’re not alone. 

The vast majority of long-term couples experience a decline in excitement and desire as their relationship matures. 

My husband Chris and I too openly talk about this without shame, because I believe it is healthy to address these things vs. feel ashamed about them or start to believe that something is ‘wrong with you’ if you are experiencing this.

It is not. In fact, this is completely normal.

In this blog, I will share with you the top ways to reignite the spark and bring back the intimacy and passion in your relationship. 

But let’s first talk about why you need to pay attention to keeping the spark alive in your relationship in the first place. 

The Importance of Reigniting the Spark

In long-term relationships, it’s natural for the initial infatuation you felt as a couple to evolve into a deeper, more comfortable, ‘friendship like’ bond. 

However, this can sometimes lead to a sense of stagnation or boredom between you and your man when it comes to feeling the SPARK of chemistry and desire with each other.

This feeling of boredom or feeling like you know everything about him and he knows everything about you can lead to reduced interest in physical intimacy, lack of initiation from your partner, and in turn make you feel undesired. 

But remember, it’s not a reflection of your worth or desirability. It’s an opportunity for growth and transformation within your relationship and elevate it to the next level, together.

Also, not to forget, when life happens with kids and work stress comes into the picture, that too suffocates passion and desire in the relationship.

For example, I remember how after a day of breastfeeding my kiddos and looking like a ragged doll, I too felt no desire to keep it hot in the bedroom with hubby.

Anyway, here’s how Chris and I keep the spark alive after a decade of being married and parenting two little kids.

There´s a lot more I would love to offer you on this topic inside my free webinar which you can join by clicking here. 

But for now, these are just a few quick practical recommendations to reignite the spark in your relationship and unlock the intimacy and passion again. 

Solution 1: Adding Some Mystery Back To Your Relationship

One powerful way to reignite the spark is by adding an element of mystery back into your relationship.

This includes returning to hobbies and fun activities for yourself, without your man and claiming back your life without him.

It feels counter-intuitive I know because you’d think that to foster more intimacy and desire, one needs to be close all the time. 

But that’s not true. Desire and the spark is enhanced when you become that attractive, fun loving version of yourself in the relationship again.

So many times when women ask me – ‘How do I get back that excitement we had in the beginning of my relationship?’

And my answer is – Go back to being the version of yourself, that you used to be back then!

Have more fun, commit to more hobbies, bring back the life in your life. This naturally adds the mystery element to your dynamic. 

For me personally, my work makes me travel all over the world without my husband and when I come back, he’s usually VERY excited to see me 😉

This is a great way for me to create some natural distance, get busy with my own passion in serving on my luxury retreats or VIP one-on-one intensives in glamorous locations of the world.