When I think back at how far we’ve come, it often makes my clit tremble. I mean, shit, I can remember the days of using the shower head and humping the pillow to cum. But now? I have a war chest of sex toys to choose from, from hole-busting dildos to high-tech vibrators. 

The sex toy industry is fuckin’ booming. So many new brands are hitting the scene to get in on the action. But despite how ‘’innovative’’ and ‘’game-changing’’ a lot of newcomer XXX brands claim to be, one toy remains a jewel in the sex toy crown: The Lovense Lush 3. 

As much as I’ve taken command of the toy on live porn sites and made cam girls cum so hard that they can’t even remember their own name, it took a while for me to get around to adding the toy to my collection. Perhaps it was a fear of it being overhyped?

Today, one of the most infamous sex toys to have ever hit the market has landed on my doorstep, and it’s time to try it out on one of Europe’s most hardened slits. Prepare yourself because this might just get messy. 

What is the Lush 3 by Lovense?

‘’Is that it?’’ a lot of people might say when they see the simple but sleek design of the Lush 3 by Lovense. After all, it doesn’t make the same kind of striking impression as a 12-inch dildo or a tail butt plug, does it? But don’t be fooled; this waterproof toy is notorious for a reason.

The Lovense Lush is one of the O.G.s of Lovense’s sprawling sex toy collection and remains one of its most popular. A G-spot vibrator at its core, it’s able to deliver a potent wave of vibes deep inside a woman’s cunt, all while remaining whisper-quiet and boasting remote controls.

And it’s the remote controls that make this vibrator so dynamic. Not only do countless cam girls deploy it in their squirt-soaked shows to bring their audience into the sexual carnage, but so too do open-minded couples looking to close the distance if they’re apart or to indulge in public play.

Squirter on the Dancefloor: Taking the Lovense Remote Out For a Spin

Oh, did you think I was going to retreat to my Goon Cave and fry my G-spot with the Lush from Lovense in Private? Think again, darling. I knew the perfect place to take this toy for a test drive, and it was on the dancefloor of a particularly seedy nightclub I adore in Blackpool, UK.

‘’Sit there, grab a beer, and do your worst,’’ I said to 24-year-old Craig, who’d proven his worth as my subservient cuckold for the past few months, ‘’I’ve been pretty ruthless to you, I know, but now it’s time for you to get your own back. I’ll be on the dancefloor.’’

It was the early hours of the morning in one of Blackpool’s sleaziest nightclubs, and Craig now had the controls to the Lovense Lush 3 that had been drenched in my sweet spit and slid deep into my cunt. Me? Well, I was now pretty tipsy and headed straight for the dancefloor. 

In stockings and a wet-look leather miniskirt that I kept having to yank down around my asscheeks to maintain some shred of modesty, it didn’t take long for a battalion of men to surround me and vie for my attention. I was keen to share it out amongst them all. 

Within minutes, I didn’t even know whose crotch I was grinding on, and my pussy was loving the feeling of rock-hard fuck meat prodding into my stocking-clad thighs. Suddenly, my dancing came to an abrupt stop. Craig had launched his first blow. 

I’m not overexaggerating when I say that I felt it rush up from my crotch all the way up to my tits. Fuck me. Was that as powerful as it got? Had Craig started at the maximum vibration setting? I was soon to find out that, no, he hadn’t. 

Bang! Another hit came, this time more intense and for longer. Scanning the men around me, I locked in on the strongest-looking fella and started to flirt, causing him to dance with me and buck his hips towards my crotch. ‘’Feel how wet I am, babe,’’ I slurred down his ear.

I looked across the dancefloor and locked eyes with Craig as a random man slid his fingers down my panties and started rubbing my clit. He felt the smooth exterior of the toy and smirked wildly, saying something to his friend whose eyes widened instantly. 

His friend slipped behind me, grinding his cock into my ass and sliding his fingers up my skirt and between my asscheeks. I didn’t even know their names, yet they were going further than Craig had gotten in months. How humiliating! Still, he had just the weapon to get revenge. 

With men’s hands on my clit and prodding into my asshole, I was already in a state of ecstasy. But what Craig unleashed was, well, hard to put into words. It wasn’t your generic G-spot vibration; it was a coordinated pattern that drilled my pleasure zones and had my toes curling.

If the guy I had my arms wrapped around moved away, I would have collapsed. This tiny pink Lovense toy had me in its grip, and my slit was bubbling already. I felt my knees wobbling, my toes dug into the sole of my slutty high heels, and I could barely even string a sentence together. 

‘’C… cum…’’ I muttered down this guy’s ear, ‘’I’m going… to fuckin’… fuckin’ cum!’’ His hand didn’t stop rubbing my clit, and the orgasm that hit transported my mind off the dancefloor and into another realm. Fuck. Me. 

My panties lost the battle to hold my squirt in within seconds, and the dancefloor was soon sticky with my love juices. The booming, trashy music drowned out my rattling screams, and I just stood there shaking in the arms of a random man who was now softly strumming my cunt. 

‘’Alright! That’s enough, you two!’’ A doorman said as he came between us and split us up, ‘’I know what you’re doing. Fuck off, the pair of you.’’ The feeling of stumbling out of that club with all eyes on me and squirt dripping down my Bambi-like legs was sheer humiliation bliss. 

‘’What the fuck did you do, Craig?’’ I laughed as we regrouped outside. Craig revealed his secret, telling me that he’d found a Lush 3 vibration challenge set by a random girl on the Lovense app and had sent it through to the toy. Clearly, it was a challenge I’d failed.

The fact a random girl I’d never met had just caused so much carnage in my pussy turned me on like crazy. So, slipping off into a side alley, I told Craig to do it again, and my second orgasm soon squirted across the used condoms and donner kebab wrappers of a Blackpool weekend.

Where Does This Lovense Toy Tick the Boxes?

Back at my hotel, with my cuckold sleeping on the floor at the foot of my bed after lapping my juices from my smooth thighs, it’s time for me to recollect just how hard this toy made me gush and what stood out the most about the Lush from Lovense. 

An Orgasm Unlike Any Other

I’ve tried a lot of sex toys. Like, A LOT of sex toys. But the vibes from the Lush 3 melted my Goonette mind. Even when not on maximum vibration, this remote-controlled G-spot massager made me cum so damn hard that I could feel the orgasm bursting out of my tits.

Once you’ve experienced just how potent a Lovense Lush orgasm can be, you’ll struggle to look at some of your other sex toys in the same way again. This is the kind of vibrator that has a military-grade mission to make you gush in mind, and it doesn’t take prisoners.

You’re Not Goin’ Anywhere, Sweetheart!

The Lush 3 has a reputation for being so powerful that some cam girls even tie themselves down to be able to withstand the orgasm, but the mere design of this toy is a work of art in itself.

Not only can the Lovense Lush send your pussy into the stratosphere, but it’s also delicately shaped in a way that keeps it locked into place so that it can work its magic without falling out of your squirting pussy too soon.

It Looks and Feels High Quality

If I unbox a sex toy that feels cheap as fuck, I’m reluctant to slide it into my holes. Luckily, the Lovense Lush doesn’t have that problem. Everything about this toy, from the sleek Lovense logo to the materials used, feels exceptionally high quality and gorgeous in your hand.

And I know what you’re all thinking. Yes, this naughty little bitch cleans like a dream under the tap, which is ideal for those of you who like to mark your territory with a dollop of creamy slit gush, as I do!

The App is a Complete Game Changer in Teledildonics

Most teledildonic sex toys come with remote control apps these days, but the Lovense Remote app is fuckin’ wild. Let me break down some of the coolest features that stood out the most to me!

• Control Link: This lets you share a link to hand over control of your Lush 3 to friends or random people in people and expires after one use. Yeah, walking down the street and being made to cum by people you can’t even see is as wild as it sounds!
• Loop, Float, and Traditional Remote: You can use three options to operate the toy, and they range from a simple power bar for newbies to a floating button that lets you create spirals and swirls of orgasm pleasure.
• Sync the Toy to Music: Lots of us love to cum with some kinky tunes blasting, and this function of the app lets you sync the vibes to the music you’re listening to. I suggest Cardi B’s Wet Ass Pussy. Thank me later!

So whether you’re eager to send pulses through your partner in public, make them cum when they’re on the other side of the world, or have your edging abilities tested by the unique pattern some random masturbation enthusiast has come up with, the app has you covered.

Are There Downsides to This Remote-Controlled Vibrator?

As anybody who has been at the mercy of my pegging dildos will tell you, I’m a ruthless bitch. The Lovense Lush might have battered my pussy into next week and unleashed new tiers of pleasure I didn’t know possible, but I always keep it real and tell you the things I didn’t like. 

The Lovense Remote App is Chunky and Takes a While to Download

As a woman who consumes a fuck tonne of porn, I have some rapid-fire internet at my place. Still, it took around forty minutes to download the Lovense Connect app, and it ran just shy of 500 MB. Yeah, as much as I adore it, it’s a thick bitch indeed!

This can make minutes feel like hours when you’re horny as fuck and eager to get this toy up your slit but be patient. The Lovense app is no joke and is packed with more than enough features to make it worth the wait, and it’s universal for other Bluetooth Lovense toys, too. 

There’s a Slight Lack of Color Options

I understand what Lovense is doing when they stay disciplined and keep the color of the Lush toy in the tones of pussy pink as it makes it instantly recognizable. Still, I do lament for an alternative color scheme. 

Perhaps an ominous black variant to switch up the mood from Bimbo pink? I’m sure that would go down a hit amongst all of the Goth sluts who love using this toy on live porn sites as much as I’d love it. 

So, is the Lovense Lush 3 All Hype or a Legit Weapon of Pleasure?

Big things do indeed come in small packages, and the Lovense Lush 3 is a prime example. There’s a reason why this toy has remained a staple of the live porn industry and open-minded couples alike, and it’s safe to say that its position as the jewel in the sex toy crown remains firm. 

Cumming from the force of the Lush 3 revealed to me that all of the shaking, toe-curling, eye-rolling, and Earth-shattering orgasms women often undergo from it on my screen aren’t fake at all. This toy will have you cumming so fuckin’ hard you don’t even know what day it is!

As we round off this Lush 3 review, let me share some advice: Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations, and always ensure you buy it safely and securely from the official Lovense store. Oh, and put a damn towel down because, even if you’re not a squirter, you might well be after this!