Kink culture hit the mainstream during the release of the popular book and movie series fifty shades of grey. Since then, we have seen a major progression in sexual liberation, and pleasure equality. There has been a huge increase of new adventurers wanting to dip their toes into the water and explore all things sex. There are many lines that overlap between what is considered a kink, and what is considered a fetish, so we are here to help you distinguish the difference between the two and get to grips with the lingo. After all, using the right terminology can not only help you describe your own needs and desires, but it also helps to minimize the stigma surrounding the world of kink.

So, what is a kink?

A kink is something that arouses us that is not considered the norm in terms of mainstream conventional sex. Conventional sex can often be referred to as ‘vanilla’ sex. This generally groups together everything that is known as the ‘sexual norm’ i.e., Penis-in-vagina, Hand play, and Oral sex.

Anything that falls out of that ‘vanilla’ range, is considered a kink, for example BDSM, Role Play, Water Sports, Anal Sex, and group dynamics such as Polyamory.  Kink can be subjective from person to person. For some people, sex toys may be considered as ‘kinky’ however, others may view them as pretty vanilla.

Okay, so what is a fetish?

A fetish is similar to a kink; however, it is something that is required in order to get aroused. Fetishes can cover anything from a specific act such as public play, to specific objects for example feet, or lingerie. A kink becomes a fetish when it is absolutely necessary for a person in order to get off. For some people, being able to fantasize about their fetish may be enough to arouse them, however others may need to actually engage with it in order to become aroused, for example somebody that may have a foot fetish could need to physically touch or engage with the foot, or objects such as shoes in order to reach their climax.

Let’s pinpoint the difference!

Okay, so now we know what a kink and a fetish is, let’s break down the difference.  If your friend walks in on you ‘doing the deed’, it arouses you and enjoy the fact they’ve been watching you, it would be a kink, but if you felt the need to have someone watch you in order to feel aroused, it would be considered a fetish.