Oh, wine. What are we going to do with you?

When compared to your beer and spirits brethren, you’re a marketing version of the Steve Buscemi meme: working so studiously to appeal to the youths, yet somehow coming across like that awkward dad trying too hard to look cool.

Recent stabs at trendy relevance have included NTFs, “clean wine,” the non-alcoholic bandwagon, and Barefoot’s wine-based entry into the hard seltzer game. While a few of those have found niche utility in the super-luxury wine ecosystem — like NFTs for high-end collector provenance tracking, and pricey non-alcoholic bubbly for pretentious posing in the club — none have moved the greater wine market forward in any meaningful way.

So why is it so frustratingly elusive for this branch of the booze triumvirate to develop a winning message for the younger masses? And what have been the hits and misses?

Wine’s Inherent and Self-Inflicted Shortcomings

The fundamental nature of wine puts it at a profound disadvantage when juxtaposed against spirits and beer. The process to produce this noble elder of the alcohol trio is just downright cumbersome.

“I mean, you kind of have to think about what makes wine such a different product. Wine is an agricultural product,” says Chris Cottrell of California’s venerated Bedrock Wine Co. and Under the Wire. As partner and consigliere with Morgan Twain-Peterson at the heritage winemaking operation, he describes the poetry of the process as both its greatest asset and worst enemy. “It’s not made in a factory. It’s made out in a vineyard, it only happens once a year, and you only get one shot,” he says. “But it’s hard to market this on a grand scale. It’s like a tanker ship. It’s really slow to react.”

The wine industry also suffers from slim margins relative to its beer and spirits counterparts. “At the end of the day … we have limited to no budget to be able to afford proper PR and marketing,” Cottrell says.

And then there’s the sheer complexity and vastness of the wine world. “If you’re into vodka, and there’s a new brand out there, it’s gonna taste within pretty consistent parameters,” Cottrell says. “In wine, there’s a huge variety of what you can expect … the plethora of countries, regions, subregions, winemaking styles.”

As far as self-inflicted wounds, the decades spent and millions invested on wine’s fussy image are now dead weight in the broader market — though that legacy campaign continues to be effective with certain niche demographics like well-off collectors. “Wine culture has a reputation for being stuffy, elitist, full of rules, and homogeneous,” says Jacy Topps, a U.S.-based veteran wine and spirits journalist. “Wine ads are usually photos of the cellar or sprawling views of vineyards. Sometimes it’s just a picture of the bottle with its high score,” she says. “It’s not fun or engaging.”

“For a long time, we’ve shown that wine isn’t for everyone by directly marketing to certain ages, incomes, and ethnicities. [That’s] going to take time to authentically unravel.”

As a consequence, all those gleamingly slick and effortless beer and spirits campaigns are running laps around wine. “Ads for beer and spirits are full of happy, beautiful people at chic rooftop parties, pool gatherings, or sporting events,” Topps says. “Those ads pull you in and make you want to join the party.”

“We have an image issue,” says Maryam Ahmed, founder of Maryam + Company, an agency specializing in wine brand extension and experience design. “For a long time, we’ve shown that wine isn’t for everyone by directly marketing to certain ages, incomes, and ethnicities,” she says. “[That’s] going to take time to authentically unravel.”

But just as problematically, steering toward the opposite extreme of that elitism can wind up a hard lesson in awkward Buscemi-esque posturing. “If wine marketers could learn anything from the movie “Mean Girls,” it’s that if you have to say you’re the cool mom, you’re probably not.” Ahmed says.

What’s Not Working for Wine

Times are changing fast in the age of social media, and wine looks like it’s at least a swing or two behind in this exhausting game of Insta-trend whack-a-mole.

Barefoot’s wine-based seltzers were introduced just in time to buy the top of the market as it peaked for all things hard seltzer. The category has since seen a precipitous decline. They still sell, but in a now crowded and compressed sector, does it really stand out in any way to the average consumer against its countless malt- and cane-based competitors?

NFTs were also holding court for a hot minute. But those who promoted them as the next big thing have now gone remarkably silent. Wine jumped in as the craze hit its zenith — and continues to laggingly dabble — and once again, just in time to ride the brutal NFT crash.

But of the trend-chasing concepts that wine pros love to hate the most, the highly suspect idea of “clean wine” is a top candidate.

“The worst marketing strategy was the ‘clean wine’ movement,” says Topps. “The marketing implied that it was ‘healthier,’ which is completely false.  … The term also maligned standard practices of winemaking.” It’s the cringy wine-marketing equivalent of snake oil, touting itself as holier-than-thou hip via vague terminology. “What’s the opposite of clean? Dirty?!”

Likewise, non-alcoholic wine is trying to catch the coattails of the anti-alcohol trend. It’s been the hot topic of global wine conferences as of late, but many pros aren’t yet convinced. While no-and-low beer and spirits — and most of all, N/A cocktails — can do a pretty good job of mimicking the real thing, the wine representative in the category just isn’t stacking up at this point.

On top of that, if one actually cares about the romance and ideals of wine as a beverage, the processing needed to go non-alcoholic with any aesthetic merit places these wines closer to the realm of manufactured product. “It kind of detracts from what makes wine special,” Cottrell says. “I’m pretty bearish on the potential to make a non-alc red that tastes close to the real thing,” he adds. “Whereas a Heineken 0.0 scratches the itch pretty good.”

And even if non-alcoholic white can come a little closer, it has technical problems of its own in order to ape the real deal. Frequently, non-alcoholic wine production involves quite a bit of residual or added sugar. “For health-conscious people … [that] isn’t actually a good selling point,” Cottrell says.

“I think getting people into wine is great. [But] part of the problem with younger people is they got into natural wine, but then they realized, ‘I don’t like the way this tastes.’”

In light of all this, why not just have a timelessly cool alcohol-free cocktail or a ruggedly handsome non-alcoholic beer instead? They’re both more authentic in image, less manipulated, and actually come respectably close to that real deal in terms of flavor and philosophy.

There’s also “natural wine.” It certainly had its moment in the sun with its high ideals. But what started out as a democratic, grassroots movement is now fading due to the inflexibility of its fanatical core believers — and in the process dragging down the reputation of some truly excellent natty producers. “I think dogma is a dangerous thing in general and can turn a lot of people off,” Cottrell says.

Somewhere along the way, the natural wine campaign became the snobby mirror twin of those traditionally produced, bombastic wines it railed so hard against. “I think getting people into wine is great,” he says. “[But] part of the problem with younger people is they got into natural wine, but then they realized, ‘I don’t like the way this tastes.’”

What Wine Is Getting Right

Enough with the bashing. On the bright side, what has wine actually been doing well?

“I see success coming from aligning a wine brand with other relatable experiences or products,” Ahmed says. “Like La Crema‘s deal with the WNBA, because it was a way for wine to expand its audience.” It’s an example of a genuine, natural fit with a league surging in popularity.

Canned wine is also a hit for the industry, with its real-world utility and unforced feel. “It bridges the gap for those who enjoy wine but feel like they can’t enjoy wine in outdoor and active settings,” Topps says. “It makes wine more approachable and fun.”

“Their ads featured good-looking people gathering at parties and simply having fun with their wines. Ads like that are relatable and engaging.”

Joining cans in the winner’s circle is that other modern icon of environmentally conscious alt-packaging, boxed wine and its permutations. “The one that has been surprisingly successful is bag-in-box.” Cottrell says of Bedrock’s boxed rosé, Ode to Lulu. “There’s authenticity to it,” he says. “There’s a convenience factor at home, or on a boat, or at a restaurant. That packaging format is something the wine industry can market and grow.”

But perhaps more than anything else, it’s becoming clear that an ever-elusive, industry-wide marketing campaign to potentially fix wine’s woes is probably just fantasy. The grandest concepts that have actually worked to convert potential wine drinkers have coalesced around regional identity: Champagne, Napa Cabernet, Oregon Pinot Noir, Provence rosé.

Below that, wine desperately needs more great brands as a gateway into the world of wine. “Kim Crawford and La Marca Prosecco have had some really fun marketing ads in the past,” Topps says. “Their ads featured good-looking people gathering at parties and simply having fun with their wines. Ads like that are relatable and engaging.”

Cottrell at Bedrock points out the Wagners. “[They’re] a great example,” he says of the family originally behind such branding triumphs as Caymus and Meiomi. “Say what you will about their wines, on the marketing side they crushed it. Whatever they did, it worked.”

And yes, maybe they’re wines at which some aficionados and pros will turn up their noses. But these products still do absolute yeoman’s work in diverting the otherwise uninterested toward the wine world as their beverage category of choice. Hey, we all started somewhere, and a win is a win.

The article How Wine Became the Steve Buscemi Meme of Beverages appeared first on VinePair.