Are you wondering how to make friends later in life? While this is a challenge for so many people, this episode has super helpful tips.
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How to make friends later in life? My podcast guest, Dr. Denise Taylor, shares many helpful tips. From personal upheavals like ending a long-term marriage to undertaking spiritual quests and embracing significant lifestyle changes, Denise’s personal experiences have enriched her empathy and understanding, making her a relatable and effective coach. She works with people in mid to later life, helping them navigate the complexities of this transformative period.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio
- Why it’s so hard to make friends later in life
- What qualities we should look for when trying to make friends after 40
- How we can increase our social health
- How to forge different types of friendships later in life
EP 633: Dr. Denise Taylor – How to Make Friends Later in Life
You’ve coined the term “Friendship MOT.” Can you explain what this is and why it’s so crucial for our well-being?
Friendship MOTs are where we pause and think about the different types of friends we have, because we need to have different friends for different parts of our lives.
As we age, many of us experience what you call the “friend-slip factor.” What are some common life events that can lead to losing social confidence?
We often have friends from university or some other part of our lives, and as we grow, these friends often slip away. It’s important to nurture these relationships.
In your Friendship MOT, you suggest asking ourselves five key questions. Could you walk us through these questions and why each one is important?
- Have I got somebody to do stuff with? It might be more than one person
- Do I have someone I can confide in? We need people who will listen, but make sure it’s a two way street.
- Who makes you happy?
- Who’s in your community? Maybe volunteer with people nearby
- Do you have people in different age groups? Expand your connections.
You emphasize the value of having friends with shared interests. How can people, especially those who are older or retired, find and cultivate these activity-based friendships?
You can make friends at the gym, a book club, or anywhere you go. Be smiley and approachable. And be a good listener.
If someone is thinking, “I’m too old to make new friends”, what would you say to encourage them to stay open to new connections?
If you lost confidence about making new friends, you need to put yourself out there and start conversations. Friendship doesn’t happen organically without effort. You’re never too old.
You mention the importance of “just hanging out” and casual check-ins. How do these seemingly small interactions contribute to our overall social health?
The casual check-in is sending a message and letting someone know you’re thinking of them. It means a lot to them. It’s also helpful to just hang out with someone without a purpose. Could be the supermarket or any errand. And the more you do it, the more it increases your social health. Being lonely is so bad for your health.
You’ve mentioned that it takes 80-100 interactions to make a friendship. That sounds like a lot! How can people stay motivated during this process of building new relationships?
That statistic is for a really close friend. If you go to an exercise class a few times a week, you’re building up the interactions. If you don’t see people often enough, make the effort to connect.
What’s one action step people can take today to improve their friendship network?
Be willing to go for it. Be open with your facial expressions and posture. Just say hi. Ask a simple question. If the other person doesn’t respond, move on to someone else. And don’t forget to ask yourself what type of friend are you? Be the positive person people will want to get to know.
Connect with Denise
- Website www.amazingpeople.co.uk
- LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/denisetaylor/
- Take the friendship MOT https://www.oddfellows.co.uk/friendship/#/form
- The Life Audit https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/q3s5z7
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