Have you ever experienced dating rejection? Welcome to dating! In this video, you’ll learn 5 steps to heal and move on.

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Dating rejection stings, but it’s an almost inevitable component of dating. You made yourself vulnerable to someone you liked, and they told you they weren’t feeling a connection. Or they ghosted you and didn’t have the decency to let you know why. Getting rejected can feel awful, but please don’t let it keep you from staying open and optimistic about finding your match. Rejection is a natural part of the dating process and essential if you want to find a relationship that’s going to be the best fit for both of you.

I’m going to be sharing a five-step plan for how to deal with rejection that can help you take it less personally, grow from the experience, and become empowered to move on and date again until you find your last first date.

Dating Rejection: 5 Steps to Heal and Move On

Step one: Feel your feelings

Whatever you’re feeling – sad, angry, disappointed – is valid. The more you resist those hard feelings, the more they will linger. Instead of moving away from the discomfort of hard feelings, go deeper. Where do you feel sadness in your body? If it’s in your chest, what does it feel like? If it was a color, what would it be? Spending 90 seconds feeling your emotions fully will help you heal so much faster.   

Step two: Acceptance

Know that you’re not alone. Rejection in dating is so very common. Most people who date are not a good fit for a long-term relationship, and many who seem like your perfect match are not for many reasons. So, accept it when your romantic interest told you they didn’t feel a connection or disappeared after one date or mid-conversation, as is so common in dating.

Don’t live in the fantasy of hoping the person will come back once they realize how amazing you are. In order for relationships to work, you need both partners on board. So accept that it happened, let it go, and know that the right person can only come to you when you let go of the fantasy of the wrong one.

Step three: Reframe rejection

Notice if your mind is associating this rejection with your self-worth. Are you thinking, “I’m  unlovable”, “I’m broken”, or “What’s wrong with me?”

If your mind goes to “rejection = I’m not good enough”, it’s time for a reframe to help you better understand and process dating rejection so it doesn’t affect your sense of self. 

Know that rejection is usually not personal. It’s just not a good fit. It doesn’t have anything to do with your value or your worth. Sometimes the other person is not in the right headspace to be with anyone, which has nothing to do with you. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t have time or the bandwidth to date you?

Or maybe they judged you based on one thing you said or did and didn’t give you a chance. Do you want to be with someone who’s so judgmental?

Exercise: Make a list of the reasons why you’re actually better off without the relationship, or the ways it wasn’t going to align with your core values. By writing down the “cons” of this would-be relationship, you can help yourself see the rejection as a way of getting one step closer to the kind of relationship you actually want.

Step four: Boost your confidence

Getting rejected by someone you like can hurt. If you’re feeling sad, get support from your friends who know and love you. They’ll be happy to tell you how awesome you are. Believe their praises. They know you much better than that person you just met online!

And remember that “Rejection is protection”. When we don’t get what we want, it’s probably because we it’s not right for us. That “no”, is protecting you from what isn’t going to serve you.

For an extra boost of confidence, write out self-affirmations on sticky notes and put them on your bathroom mirror. Some examples are, ‘I am worthy of giving and receiving love’, ‘I deserve to have my needs met in a relationship’, or ‘I deserve to have my values honored and respected.’

Step five: Don’t wait too long to date again

Many people become so fearful of getting hurt again after rejection, they don’t want to date again for a long time. While you should take time to process and heal, especially if you’ve been rejected after a long-term relationship, but do get out and date again. Do it before you’re fully ready.

Date with a fresh perspective this time. Think of dating as a ‘school for love’. You’ll learn about your core values and what’s important to you. You’ll discover who’s a good fit and who is not. And you’ll learn how to become a better dater, knowing rejection is not personal and it’s part of the process.

Now that you’ve turned this moment of rejection into an opportunity for growth, you might even find yourself projecting a more positive energy and attracting new potential partners. After all, when you are happy and feel good about yourself, you’re more likely to be open to connecting with your match.

***If this topic resonates for you and you want to learn more about how to better deal with rejection in dating, I’ll be giving an hour-and-a-half masterclass on this topic on November 11th. Join me in my monthly coaching group, the Woman of Value clubGroup Coaching: https://lastfirstdate.com/the-woman-of-value-club/ ***

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life