Ladies, if you’re scared to ask a man out, here are three strategies that work. Most men will be flattered, so go for it!
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If you’re wondering how to ask a man out, I’ve got you covered. Whether you met him online or IRL, inviting someone for coffee or a casual first date can feel intimidating, especially when you’re uncertain about their feelings. It can be scary to put yourself out there, especially if you’re used to men asking you out instead of the other way around.
When a woman asks a man out, it shows confidence, self-reliance, friendliness and assertiveness. And being flirted with is flattering for men. Why should you wait for men to take the initiative and always make the first move? Approaching gives you the agency to write your own love story on your terms.
If you’re still on the fence about whether or not you should take the plunge, this video is for you. The key is to keep things light and friendly so it doesn’t feel like high-stakes, especially if he’s not interested. Here are three approaches to try.
Dating Advice for Women: How to Ask a Man Out
1. Direct but Playful Approach
It feels less scary when ask him if he wants to get together, but you remain light, playful, and open.
Example: “Hey, I just found a great coffee/ice cream spot in _______. Want to join me to try out their pumpkin muffins on Sunday?”
Why it works: It frames the invite as a fun outing, not a date, which makes it feel low-pressure. Once he accepts and you’re tasting that muffin, you can see if there’s a romantic connection and take it from there.
2. The ‘In-the-Area’ Strategy
Take the fear of asking him on a date down a few notches by making it seem that you’re going to be in his area anyway.
Example: “I’ll be around [location] this weekend. If you’re free, want to grab a quick coffee Saturday morning at __________?”
Why it works: It makes the invitation feel spontaneous and casual, giving the impression that it’s not a big deal if they say no.
3. The Group Date Option
Asking him to join you and a few others can feel less scary than asking him to just get together with you. It can feel very unromantic to join a friend group, and you run the risk of him falling for one of your friends. But, it can also be a fun way to get to know him better – with your friends’ approval!
Example: “Some friends and I are grabbing coffee (or playing pickleball/tennis/seeing live music) at [place]. You’re welcome to join if you’re free!”
Why it works: Offering the safety of a group can reduce pressure for both of you.
Bonus Tips When Asking Him Out
Shift Your Mindset: Think of asking a man out as inviting a new friend rather than making a romantic gesture right away.
Be Aware of Your Body Language and Tone: A warm smile and casual vibe will help avoid awkwardness.
If the Answer is No: If they decline or seem unsure, let it go with grace—“No worries, maybe some other time!”
Learning How to Ask a Man Out is Easier Than You Might Think!
There you have it, three different ways to ask a man out. I hope you see that while it can be scary, learning how to ask a man out is actually pretty easy, and the more you do it, the less intimidating it will be. Most men are flattered when you ask them out. So be honest and straightforward, and let go of attaching to the outcome. And remember – you miss all the chances you don’t take. So, go for it!
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
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Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life
